Let's be honest, September Sucks---Be warned this is a little long

I am not a person to air dirty laundry or things along those lines.  I pride myself on holding stuff close to vest, except where those closest to me are concerned then I am an open book including table of contents, and appendix.  So I briefly shall explain why September for all intents and purposes sucks royally. 

I am a person who trust whole heartedly until given a reason not to, once a reason is presented, I am done.  I love the same way.  If you are "in my circle" you are in and there is nothing within my power I wouldn't do for anyone "in my circle".  I get it honest, it's genetic.  Once your in, your in for life. 

When I was growing up there was a man in my life that was without a doubt one of the greatest men the good Lord above put on this earth.  I lovingly called him Papaw-I named him seeing as how I was the lucky one being the first grandkid.  Papaw called me Monkey as long as I could remember.  The man was small man by measure but in my eyes he was ten feet tall and bullet proof and had a green thumb that would make Martha Stewart seethe with jealousy.  Every summer until I was 16 I spent the week of July 4th with him, just us, till he remarried and the other grandkids got potty trained (Papaw's rule you had to be able to go by yourself, to go by yourself).  Once some of the grandsons were able to go on the journey with us.  The only trip the two oldest and two youngest (at the time) made together has been talked about for the last 16 years.  There is a picture on facebook that will give you an idea of the way the trip went.  But I digress.  Papaw was a truck driver, who never failed to make me car sick in his little car but made his big rig ride like a Caddy.  This little giant managed to survive and aneursym, only losing his sense of smell.  Ironically enough he only liked one type of body was...Country apple from Bath and Body works, and the man knew the difference.  However he was diagnosed with colon cancer.  We watched this man who set the standard for which I measured men, turn into a man who couldnt beat the monster that took control of his body.  He passed away in September 1999.

Then came September 2009.  After an 18 month rollercoaster with as many ups as downs, I had to call my older siblings and say, "you need to get here, you need to get here now."  In the days that followed, there were some many laughs and tears.  I can't tell you the number of times I said prayers to just let it be peaceful.  That Saturday night, I had to curl up beside my daddy and tell him that it was ok, that we would be ok and he didn't have to hang on just for us.  I can not begin to tell you how bad it hurt, and how it felt like such a huge lie.  I also had to curl up beside this man who loved his grandchildren and children as much as he loved life itself, and tell him how much I apprecited him being there when I needed him and how much I loved him.  We had him surrounded by his grandkids, who would wonder in and out saying how much they loved their Poppa.  September 8 was the last day of the battle.  The monster won again.  That made the second time, a man that I considered larger than life who had to face the giant.

On to March 2012.  I found out one night while at my mom's for supper that her youngest brother was having some stomach issues.  Immediately we were worried, though being a family of bright siders we didn't show it.  As test were run, we still saw the bright side.  Then the day came, the news came.  It's cancer, stomach cancer.  He was 42 at the time, with a daughter getting ready to graduate college, and one in elementary school, and a step-son getting ready to graduate high school, and start college, and another step-son who was newly engaged.  Yes, you can imagine how many times, why him was uttered.  Shortly after his diagnoses, his brother was diagnosed with mutliple myolomia.  While younger brother was given a promising outlook, older brother's wasn't looking so bright.  Some how fate decided to pull the ole switcheroo.  The beginning of August brought about a long stay in the hospital for younger brother.  Well last Friday, I get a phone call I had once had to make.  Get here and get here quick.  The doctors said two weeks to two months.  Now anyone that has ever had to hear those words knows that it is like a ton of cinderblocks are dropped onto you from a crane 400 feet in the air.  Thankfully hubs was able to load up and go with the boys and I.  We head out Friday, getting there late Friday night, and go to the hospital Saturday morning.  Walking into that room, I saw a man who I will always remember as being a cowboy in the true sense of the word.  I saw a man who once served his country in the Army.  I also saw a man who was enjoying the friends and family there to spend what could be his last days with him, he laughed, and smiled, and told story after story.  I also saw a man that the monster who had taken my two first true heros was doing it's very best to take a third.  It was slowly winning.  After a good visit over the weekend, I got to spend a few minutes just us.  I told him how much I loved him and how much I appreciated the fact that even though we didn't see or talk to each other everyday, I always knew he was a phone call away.  No matter the problem, how big or small, I knew he was there.   

So as much as it hurts already, the Monster is going to win again.  It will win again in September.  September will forever be the most dreaded month of the year.  We are still holding on to youngest brother, and he is still fighting as much as he can.  Sadly the harder he fights, the stronger the monster gets. 

We will trek up the mountain to visit with the family tomorrow.  I realize there is an entirely to strong possiblity that after this weekend I may never see him again.  I have full intentions to tell him again just how much I love him, and how much I am gonna miss him, but will have to say the words all over again, we are gonna be ok.

The monster has apparently developed a liking of my family and I wished it would leave us the hell alone.